Authenticity is a challenge. Our journey in finding our own authentic self is laced with challenges. We make a mess of relationships as we don’t understand where the dissatisfaction with life is coming from. Are we the origin of the dysfunctions in our relationships, or are we the ones misunderstood?
My journey, my struggles of figuring out who I am at my core have often times created a mess in my relationships. I teeter-totter between struggles of independence/dependence- the yin/yang. I struggle with understanding how much I want to give and how much I need to hold back for myself. I am always asking myself- am I giving from an authentic loving place or am I acting from other’s expectations of me.
The journey, over time has proven to be challenging as at our core we are tribal beings. We want a sense of belonging but that belonging can’t come at the sacrifice of the self. Truth is, life is messy. The journey back to self takes time and isn’t a linear path.
This poem captures how others may see my journey of self-discovery. How their hearts write a story of how challenging my evolution must be experience. However, those in intimate relationships with me know how much love I give in my relationships and much I love to love. When the journey of life is over, the deafening applause of a life well lived will only be heard by me in my reflections of my existence. I learned to be at peace with flaws, learned to be ok with being remembered as being real, authentic, confusing and challenging- a beautiful nightmare.
